Meeting Boys in the Dark can be Tricky.....

My first date after Soren started three weeks after the break up. My friend Leah was in town to assist in my recovery and wanted to take me out for the night to go drinking and meet new boys. I was slightly apprehensive but decided I had nothing to lose. The bar "Spoon" had a nice decor that included fun bright blue walls and lighting and an old school photo booth. After we talked with some gentlemen and I exchanged numbers with one of them, we decided to head off. I went to the bar to pay for my tab and collect my credit card when I noticed this one particular boy who was sitting at the bar. We started talking and before I knew it, I was exchanging my phone number with his after sensing a good chemistry. After a week, we went on our first date and I met him at the restaurant. As I walked in and saw him sitting at the table, I didn't notice anything particularly different about him. He liked to talk or maybe he was nervous but I was happy to listen. As we finished our dinner, we decided to go and check out this corky little bar in Crockett that had a giant stuffed polar bear and an extensive bottled beer collection. As we headed out of the restaurant, I noticed that his walk was different and he looked as though he had an injury to his hips. I continued to notice that he was slightly wobbly but kept upright easily.

After working with children with special needs for many years, I could guess that he had Cerebral Palsy (CP). We talked as we drove over to the bar and I mention that I'm an Occupational Therapist and I work with children with CP. He immediately felt very comfortable with me and explained how hard it is to meet someone who is empathetic to someone like him.  I told him that it didn't bother me that he had CP and I was enjoying his company. As we sat at the bar, we talked about favorite bands and interests. There were times I felt like he wasn't listening to me or he was trying to relate but didn't know what I was talking about. For example, I would say I like Andrew Bird and he would say "I really like House of Pain, you would like them if you like Andrew Bird." After our date, we decided to have another date together the following weekend. Now normally I don't go with someone to their Christmas party on a second date but I thought I would go and it might be a fun environment for a second date. He picked me up at about 5 and we head down to Livermore for the Christmas party.

Everything was going well until about 10:00 when I realized my date was drinking way too much alcohol to be driving me back home at midnight. He kept drinking shots with his co-workers, and coming back more wobblier each time he would visit the bar. I was beginning to get concerned. After his tenth hard liquor drink at the bar, the bartender refused to serve him anymore alcohol because he had too many. The date then proceeded to get angry because he felt like he was being discriminated against because he had Cerebral Palsy. Now, granted I am willing to support individuals with special needs and defend their rights when it is necessary. I would also imagine that this kind of thing happens all of the time, where a bartender has to make a judgement call when someone is too drunk to drink anymore. But after watching him slur his words as he explained what happened with the bartender and how it wasn't fair that he has to go through this, I was beginning to side with the bartender on this one.

After insisting that he wasn't drunk in the most slurry-ist speech possible, he then explained that we should get a room at the hotel where the Holiday party was held at, to be "safe" and avoid any possible DUIs. Annoyed, I said no but I won't be driving home with you. I then proceeded to call a taxi to take me back to Oakland and forced the boy to pay for my taxi ride back to Oakland. Even after his ridiculous offer of sharing a hotel room together, he asked that maybe he could join me back at my apartment where he could sleep over.  I looked at him with the "Are you kidding me?" look and said no and I wish you the best of luck in finding a ride home.  I found out later that he stayed at the hotel that night.

We continued to text and message for about a week when I finally said that this wasn't working. What really got me about this boy was he sent me a text message of the Grinch (the cartoon) getting a blow job while I was working with my students. Then he wondered why I was annoyed afterwards.  When I explained that you don't send gross graphic pictures to girls you just met, he shrugged and said "Oh, I thought you would like that."