Monday, December 13, 2010

Don't let the Crazy out in the beginning :)

After two months of flirting with boys at bars and receiving some wanted and unwanted attention, I decided to try my luck at the dating website, Match.com. I felt that paying for a dating membership would eliminate some of the odd balls. I was beginning to realize that some of the guys (not all of them) that  I was interested in were not of the quality standards that I was looking for. This began my experience with Match.com.

My first date from Match.com involved meeting at a coffee place in my neighborhood. It was a beautiful day outside so we sat at one of the tables that lines up on the side of the coffee house. He appeared to have his head on his shoulders, male, 39 years old, finishing his masters degree in Family and Marriage counseling at a local university. I enjoyed talking with him about my experiences as a behavioral therapist and he entertained me with his internship, working at a school during the Fall semester. His goal once he finished school was to teach men about intimacy and having group counseling for men. I felt like both of us shared an interest in self growth and becoming better people. He also seemed to enjoy mediation which was something I was working on.

The second date occurred about a week later, starting with dinner at this extremely organic, hippie restaurant where I felt like I was eating cardboard. As you can tell, this was his choice but I wasn't about to hold that against him ;) We decided to go back to my place for boardgames and some tea. As we entered my home, I took off my shoes because my carpet was fairly new and I didn't want to get it dirty. As we played boardgames at my coffee table, I didn't notice anything particular about him but I got the impression that he did want to kiss me but lost the nerve. We hugged goodbye and that night I received an email from him that started like this:

"Dear Carolyn, It was great to see you tonight. I look forward to our next date on Tuesday night. I will bring the wine. By the way, I really wanted to caress your feet..."

Ignoring the last part of his email, I started to respond with "I look forward to meeting with you." As I was responding to his email, he IM'ed me, saying hello. The conversation started off normal with how was your day, great, thanks. Then it turned ugly pretty quickly. He asked "What did you think of my email?" and I continued to ignore the last part of the email with, dinner sounds great on Tuesday night, I look forward to seeing you. Then he pressed on, asking "What did you think about the last part of my email?" Surprised (to say the least) I responded with "If it was the right time and place, then yes, that might work, but given that we haven't even kissed yet I would say that the timing was off." He responded with "Oh, you're turning me on!" As though that wasn't creepy enough and his response seeming like he may have been confused about what I just said, he then asked "Carolyn, do you consider yourself to be aggressive?"

Ready to run for the hills, I responded with "Assertive yes, Aggressive no." As though he couldn't be any more creepier than a chester molester, he pushed my envelope with "be aggressive next time".

At this point, I deleted my original email and began to rewrite my email to say, "Thanks for the last two dates but I don't think we are a match. I wish you the best of luck in finding what you are looking for. Sincerely, Carolyn" Click, send.

Ten minutes later I received an email that read in capitals "WAS IT THE FOOT FETISH PART?"

I ignored it, given that I had said what I needed to say. There was nothing more I could do to make it more clear that I was all finished was his type of flirtation and games. A couple days later, I receive yet another email at 11 o'clock at night saying, he would really like to kiss me and wondered if we could have a make out session right now. I ignored that email as well, refusing to participate in this conversation. Two days later, another email pops up from him, saying one word: Sorry.

A month passes and ANOTHER email pops up from him, titled "Games" and reading "Wanna play again?"

I responded with "Please don't contact me, don't call me or don't email me. Carolyn"

As though this story couldn't get any creepier, I received an email from him a YEAR later, saying happy one year anniversary and that he wished me the best. Thanks but no thanks, Mr. Foot Fetish but I don't find creepiness to be attractive. The end.

3 comments:

  1. One thing I've always loved about you, Caro, is that you're firm about your boundaries. I'm still working on that, and I love that you have no problems being firm but polite. Teach me, Obi-Wan! I also love that you're willing to give guys the benefit of the doubt and try to see past......quirks....shall we call them. There's a prince out there, they're just kinda hard to find. And even if there's not, we're okay with that, right?

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  2. No dear, it's not that you're a foot fetishist - it's that you don't read for content, have any grasp social niceties, or respect for me as a person.

    You are so much nicer than I would have been.

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  3. Thanks to both of you :) Sometimes, a girl has to go through some weeds before meeting a good guy. Honestly, someone who is respectful and treats a lady with compassion and honesty is what I am looking for. And has social skills because I seem to run into those socially awkward guys alot especially in the Silicon Valley area. I joke that Sean should teach a class on how to treat women with respect and love because I'm losing faith in bay area boys. I realize it's the same everywhere. In southern California, you deal with guys who want a skinny blonde (sorry bonnie ;)) with the packaged body. Honestly, I can't win :(

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